Crossroads of the Heart
by Swordsoul2000
Summary: Katara's POV of the cave scene in Crossroads of Destiny. Companion fic to Crossroads in Time


Crossroads of the Heart

The cave scene in _Crossroads of Destiny_ from Katara's POV. Companion fic to _Crossroads in Time_.

I do not, and will never own Avatar the last Airbender, nor any of the characters within.

//\\

Katara restlessly paced the confines of her subterranean cell, viciously kicking herself for allowing herself to be caught the way she had. _How_ had Azula managed to infiltrate Ba Sing Se disguised as Suki? Actually she did know how, and hated herself all the more for the knowledge. When they had received word that the Kyoshi warriors had requested to enter the city, she should have insisted on meeting with Suki and her warriors. She should have verified Suki's identity, or as much as possible under the heavy Kyoshi war paint.

Not to mention, Suki was her _friend_, not to mention one of the more tolerable girls that her idiot of a brother had been interested in. And she couldn't have been _bothered_ to so much as to go say hello to her friend because she was so busy conferring with the generals about the planned Invasion.

Invasion plans that Azula had likely gotten her fingers all over, and she didn't know _what to do_…?

Her thoughts ground to a sudden halt when the Dai Li opened a tunnel from the surface not that far from where she stood. She didn't have time to see much, but from what she could tell, one agent opened and maintained the tunnel, while a second manhandled a third figure unto the hole and pushed them down. Then the tunnel closed, leaving no sign of where exactly it had been.

The person dumped in with her picked himself up on his knees, lifting his head and telling her immediately who he was: it wasn't as if she could mistake that particular scar for anyone else…

"_Zuko_!" unwillingly, her mind flashed back to when she had last seen him. She had been frazzled from her latest meeting with the generals, and had stopped by a new teashop for a quick pick-me-up, when she had heard a distinctive voice. Immediately, her eye had found the face to go with that voice, Zuko's face. Panicked, she had run, running for Suki's help to apprehend the Fire Prince, only to find Azula instead.

If Zuko hadn't been in that teashop, Azula would never have had a chance to take her down. It was _his_ fault she'd ended up here. Her face hardened. Zuko was going to find scant welcome here.

He recognized her as well. His expression tightened, the arrogant mask she'd seen too many times falling over his features. She refused to give him the advantage and struck the first blow. _Oooh_, what she wouldn't give to have her waterskin with her…

"Well, look who's here." Her voice cracked like a water whip, showering him with condescension. He didn't respond, mutely turning around to face the wall, silently showing her his back. Her temper soared.

"Don't you turn your back on me!" she demanded. He ignored her. It _infuriated_ her, that he could show her such distain. She had proved, over and over again, that she was _more_ than his equal in battle. The North Pole was an excellent example of just how well she could defeat him. She had immobilized him in ice several times, knocking him out repetitively. Sure, he had returned the favor, _once_; but her tally on that scorecard was much better than his. She was a _master waterbender_, and even if she was without her waterskin, she _resented _being treated as if she were no threat.

"I guess that it's no _wonder_ that a failure like you would end up caught by the Dai Li. The only wonder that I can think of is that you actually managed to get inside the Walls in the first place. How _do_ they manage to keep the Fire Nation out, if they'll let just _anybody_ inside! Oh wait; they _didn't_ manage keep your people out, did they. Both you _and_ your sister are here."

He made no response. Silently, he faced the wall, never so much as twitching no matter what she said. It made no _sense_! One thing everyone knew about Zuko, was that he had a temper as explosive as blasting jelly. He was _easy_ to provoke into a fight. And she _wanted_ a fight, wanted it so she could unleash all the fear, and anger and terror at being held hostage, as bait for Aang, at being helpless in an underground cavern with no way out, on Zuko. He _would_ fight her. He would.

"Now that I think about it, it makes _perfect sense_ that you'd be here. Really, it does. To get into the city, you'd have to sneak in like the honorless coward you are. Did you come here because you have nowhere left to go? Because I am _so_ sorry if that's the case. It's no less than you deserve. Actually, it _is_ less than you deserve. You _deserve_ to be hunted down like an animal, killed in your sleep, burned alive, and even all _that_ is much too good for you!"

He _still_ didn't react. She lost track of exactly how long she ranted, railing away about everything she could think of, trying to make Zuko lose that sense of smug superiority. _Why_ was he being so _difficult_? _Why_ was it suddenly so hard to make Zuko _mad_?

Eventually she changed tactics. If insulting Zuko about his lack of honor, his banishment, how generally pathetic he was, wasn't going to work, maybe something else would. "So why _did_ they throw you in here?"She sneered at his back. Then answered her own question rather than wait for a response that she doubted would come. "Oh wait. It's a trap. So when Aang shows up to rescue me, you can finally have him in your little Fire Nation clutches."

Zuko twitched. _Finally_ she was getting somewhere! She continued in that vein, warming to the topic. "You're a _terrible _person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for _peace_!" she paused, to let that sink in, than continued the condemnation. "But what do you care. You're the Fire Lord's _son_. Spreading _war_ and _hatred_ and _violence_ is in your _blood_!"

Finally Zuko reacted. He growled over his shoulder, "You don't know what you're talking about!"

She didn't know what she was talking about? Was he _insane_? Of _course_ she knew what she was talking about! She'd been all over the world; she'd _seen_ the devastation the Fire Nation had caused with her own eyes, most of it with Zuko on her tail. Or rather, Aang's tail, but she wasn't about to belabor that point. Not to mention, she'd lost her family to the war. Aang had lost his _entire people_. She'd lost….

She couldn't let him win. She _couldn't_! Her temper soared still higher. "I _don't_! How _dare _you! You have _no _idea of what this war has put me through, _me _personally!" _Mom_… she thought, touching her necklace, the same necklace Zuko had somehow stolen and then tried to use as a bargaining chip, as if she would hand over Aang for _anything_, even for something as precious as her mother's necklace. Her fingers traced the carved ivory disk lovingly. It was all she had left of her mother. Unable to bear Zuko witnessing her breakdown, even with his back turned, she turned away from him, pulling her knees up and hugging them to her chest as she tried to stifle the sobs that welled up within her whenever she thought about the way her mother had died. "The Fire Nation took my _mother_ away from me."

Cloth rustled behind her. She ignored him. He had no part in her grief, except to be the target of her revenge, revenge that would_ never_ be satisfied, that would haunt Katara until the day she died. The images of that horrible day surged upward, thick and fast. The firebender, the way her mother had sent her from the tent, the sight that had greeted her and her father when they burst back through the door…

Words broke through her sobs. They were rough, but filled, not with sympathy, nor with contempt, but with rueful understanding. He knew what it was like to lose someone that important to you. But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? He was _Fire Nation_, the same, relentless, soulless enemy who attacked people who had done nothing wrong; who just wanted to be left in peace. He _couldn't_ understand her pain. He simply _couldn't_. But those words wouldn't be denied: "I'm sorry. That's something we have in common."

She turned back to look at him, stunned by what he appeared to be saying. He had turned back around, facing her enough for her to be able to get a good look at his face. And while his horrid scar made reading his expression difficult, she was able to pick out bits of understanding, of a loss that mirrored her own in his eyes.

He _could_ be lying. That possibility was always there. He was _Zuko_, what _else_ did she expect from the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation, the next ruler of the most despicable people in the entire world. It wouldn't have surprised her in the least if he lied like he breathed; but somehow, she didn't think he was lying this time. She couldn't put her finger down on exactly _why_ though… maybe it was the faint hint of understanding that she'd seen in golden eyes.

For some reason, she couldn't hold his gaze. She tried to force it back, to prove to Zuko that she wasn't intimidated by him in the least, but her eyes kept skittering away. She couldn't see his eyes, but somehow she sensed that he was having the same problem looking at her, both of them unsure how to deal with the other in the wake of their shared revelation.

Abruptly, he surged to his feet, breaking the spell that bound them fast. Still, she couldn't move. Able to look at him now, she saw, for the first time in the months she'd known him, just how _weary_ he was, how clearly despair weighed on his shoulders.

He really wasn't that much older than she was, she realized with a start; maybe Sokka's age, or a little older. All those times they'd fought, all the times they'd clashed, she'd never really _noticed_ it before. She had to glance away again at that revelation. All this time, he had scarcely seemed _human_ to her. He'd been strong, deadly, a firebender like the one who had killed her mother; filled with superhuman determination that _refused_ to give up; no matter how heavily the odds had been stacked against him. How had he done that? She wondered suddenly. _Why_ had he done that? He was only a few years older than her, and he had accomplished things that would have likely _crushed _her if she had been set his tasks with as few resources as he had.

She rose to her feet as well, unsure of what to say, but aware that she had to say something, _anything_ to fill the awful silence that now hung between them. His face had settled back into its normal, stony lines, but she thought that she detected a hint of softness that hadn't been there before. A hint of vulnerability, something that would ordinarily be _anathema_ to the banished prince, but it was there nonetheless.

If only the words would _come_ to her… She hadn't had this much trouble talking only a few minutes ago! Then her mind recalled the words she'd hurled at him in anger, and winced internally. There was no way to read what he was thinking, but she _couldn't_ let those words stand. For so long, the Fire Nation and its people had been inhuman in her eyes, and had thus _deserved_ her disgust. But now…her greatest enemy had let down just the slightest bit of the veil that shielded his soul from the world, and she had witnessed it. He was _human_, and therefore deserved her apology for what she'd said.

It was a struggle to get the words out. "I'm…I'm sorry I yelled at you before." She told the ground in Zuko's general direction.

"It doesn't matter," he responded, his words touched with the same uneasiness that she felt. That was good; at least she wasn't the only one feeling it. But what she'd said _did_ matter, at least to her. She felt as if she had to explain her words, that if she didn't get this out, _now_, she would lose her nerve and the opportunity would be lost. And for some reason, she didn't _want_ to lose it. Not when she finally had a sense of who Zuko was as a person, not just an inhuman presence that _always_ found them, no matter what they did to hide. She was no longer talking to the Fire Lord's son; but to a boy her brother's age, whom had also lost his mother. And some of the things she'd said were unforgivable.

She _had _to explain her reasoning behind those words at least. Looking at his face, she said, "It's just that…for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy…it was _your_ face." Listening to herself, she wanted to cringe, at how just far short her words had fallen, but they were all she had to express herself. Well, hopefully Zuko had understood what she'd been trying to say.

His face shut down completely. His voice was as dead as she'd ever heard it, lacking even the customary rage that had defined his voice for as long as she'd known him. Rage, she realized abruptly, that had been absent from his voice at the teashop, and when he'd told her about his mother. But even hearing the constant anger in his voice was better than…_this_. His voice was flat, and dead as he spoke, with as much life as salted seal meat. "My face. I see." He turned away from her, one hand drifting up to touch his scar.

Too late, Katara realized what she'd said wrong. She had been referring to his face in _general_, saying that when she thought of the Fire Nation, it had been Zuko's face she'd pictured. The face of the enemy.

But _he'd_ thought that she'd meant his scar. For the first time, she wondered what the circumstances had been when he'd gained the mark, what could have happened to the Fire Lord's precious _son_ that had left him with such a disfiguring mark, not to mention exactly how old it was. It was several years old _at least_, and it looked to have been _horrendously_ painful. And, for some reason, in Zuko's mind at least, it was linked to his relentless quest for the Avatar.

"No, that's not what I meant!" she protested, not wanting him to get the wrong impression.

"It's okay." He assured her, not that she believed him for a second. She couldn't see his face because he had his back to her, but…somehow she didn't _want_ to know what his expression was right now. "I used to think that this scar marked me, the mark of the banished prince." He said with a slight bitter twist to his tone. Then his voice changed. Something softer, but no less determined entered his voice, something she couldn't quite name. "But lately I've realized that I'm free to determine my _own_ destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."

He sounded so lost, so _defeated_, so unlike the strong, supernaturally determined firebender who had chased Aang all the way around the world; that Katara _ached_ to be able to do something for him. But what could she _do_? Then a thought came to her. "Maybe you _can_ be free of it." She suggested softly.

He spun around, hope lighting in his eyes. "_What_…?"

"I have healing abilities."

The hope visibly faded. "It's a _scar_. It _can't_ be healed."

For the most part, Zuko was right. But he didn't know about the water from the Spirit Oasis Master Pakku had gifted her with before they'd parted ways. Katara wasn't sure if it would work, but she'd been saving the water for a special occasion, and surely this qualified, didn't it? And if _anything_ could accomplish the task of healing Zuko's scar, the Spirit Water would.

She pulled the vial from under her dress, showing it to him. "This is water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole," she informed him. "It has special properties, so I've been saving it for something important." She hesitated, briefly, than continued. "I don't know if it would work, but…" she let the words trail off, her meaning obvious.

She couldn't read his face. Couldn't tell what he was thinking. Had no way of divining his thoughts. Part of her thought he would refuse, _hoped_ he would refuse, so that later (if they ever got out of here) she could justify her distrust. Another part of her _wanted_ him to accept, _wanted_ to help him however he could, _wanted_ to show him that mercy and forgiveness _did_ exist in the world, and that it was _alright_ to accept help once in a while.

His eyes met hers for the briefest instant; then slid shut in surrender. Taking that as permission to continue, she gently laid her fingers on the seared flesh, _feeling _the extent of the damage. It was a horrible wound; thick scar tissue coated the skin around his eye, reaching back into his hairline, forcing the lid into a permanent slant, as if his eye was locked into a glare. She couldn't _imagine_ the kind of blow that had caused it, but that wasn't her job. Her job was to do her best to remove the disfigurement, to erase it from existence.

Not increasing her light pressure on the scar (even if it was nearly _guaranteed_ that he couldn't feel her touch, not through scar tissue _this_ thick) she _probed_ the lines of energy behind it, feeling what exactly she had to mend. This would definitely be tricky to accomplish, this was hands-down the oldest wound she had ever tried to heal, and the lines of chi running around the injury were stagnant, with only the barest threads of energy running through the marred flesh. The age of this injury wasn't measured in hours, or even months, but in _years_. Exactly how long _had_ Zuko been seeking the Avatar? Exactly how _long_ ago had he been scarred? If what she was sensing from the scar was accurate, Zuko would have had to received his scar when he was not much older than _Aang_, and the thought of something like that happening to a _child_ broke her heart. She _had_ to help him.

She was startled out of her concentration by a loud crash. Reflexively jerking away from Zuko, she saw (as soon as the dust settled) Aang, and Zuko's uncle. They were _saved_! "_Aang_!" She called excitedly as she rushed into Aang's embrace, too relieved for words that he was _safe_, that he'd avoided the trap Azula had set for him, that he'd come back for her. He was _ok_, and now _everything_ would be all right. She just _knew_ it.

Zuko was upset about something; Katara could hear it in his voice, even if her mind couldn't completely comprehend his exact words. _Why_? Didn't he realize that everything was going to be _fine _now, that they could both get out of this underground prison?

She shoved his distress from her mind. Or at least, she tried to. Was she forgetting something? She had a nagging sensation that she was forgetting something important, something to do with Zuko. Oh well, she'd remember it later.

Iroh was urging them on to go find Sokka and Toph, saying that he and Zuko would catch up with them. As she passed Zuko, he simply l_ooked_ at her, and with a flash, she remembered what it had been that she had forgotten. His _scar_… she had promised to heal it. But there was no more time to worry about it. It was one thing to bind herself to a healing project of unknown difficulty when they had no idea of how long they would be trapped together underground, quite another to get started on the same project when the Dai Li could catch them at any moment.

She made herself pass him by, allowing herself only a single backward glance of regret. She'd have time to heal Zuko's scar later, once they were well away from the reach of Azula and the Dai Li. She was certain that Iroh would be able to persuade Zuko to abandon his last vestiges of loyalty to the Fire Lord, and join Aang in freeing the world from Fire Nation tyranny. Not that it would take all that much convincing. She was positive that Zuko was already more than partway there.

They had traveled part of the way down the tunnel Aang had created to look for her before she realized that Aang was saying something. Dragged her thoughts back to the present, she realized that he was asking about what had happened between herself and Zuko back in that cave. She opened her mouth to tell Aang everything…but for some reason, she hesitated. She was reluctant to share what had gone on between the two of them while they had been confined together. It felt…_private_, like the things everybody knew you weren't supposed to ask about until you became a woman, or were taken ice dodging. She didn't _want_ to share what had happened between herself and Zuko, it didn't _feel_ right.

But she had to tell Aang something. Because Zuko was their enemy, and she'd been found standing within his personal space, not attacking him in anyway, and, to suspicious minds at least (not that she would believe that_ Aang_ of all people would think of it), in a rather intimate and romantic tableau, what with the way her hand had been resting on his scar. She did owe him an explanation.

Or _did_ she? She was her own person, she was_ not_ an extension of Aang, and she was _not_ his property. He had left her in Ba Sing Se to plan the Invasion, and if he had trusted her to do that, than he _should_ be able to trust her now. She was _not_ a child; she'd begun her Moon Seasons not long before she'd left the Southern Water Tribe, and she'd been the most responsible adult figure in their little group all the way to the North Pole, and after, to Ba Sing Se. And she _hadn't_ been doing anything wrong. Didn't Aang approve of showing compassion to people who needed it?

That was when they heard voices, new voices, behind them, back where they'd left Zuko and Iroh. She and Aang exchanged glances, then bolted for the exit tunnel that Aang had left open from when he and Iroh had begun their search. Katara abandoned any thought of Zuko and called to Aang as they ran, "We've got to find Sokka and Toph!"

Aang barely had the chance to nod before a stream of distinctive blue fire nearly hit them from behind. Aang barely had a chance earthbend a wall for shelter, before a second, stronger blast struck, crumbling the wall and knocking Aang back from the futile shelter. Katara didn't have to look to know that Azula had found them. She ground her teeth in frustration. If Aang hadn't wanted to know what happened, if she hadn't stopped while trying to figure out what to tell him, they might have gotten away clean. _Now_ they had to fight.

They fought, pooling both their bending talents together as a result of long months traveling together and many battles fought side by side. And for all her skill, Azula was only one bender, who was overmatched when faced with two master benders who could use three out of the four elements between the two of them. It wasn't long before they had Azula backed into a corner, gold eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them, trying to watch both of them at once.

A blast of red fire, landing between Aang and Azula, caught Katara's attention. Zuko paced forward, arms in position to deliver another blast, his face set and slightly crazy. He looked so _different_ from when she had last seen him, only a few minutes ago. His elegant green robes were gone; a rough brown under-tunic with its sleeves torn off had taken their place. She held her breath as his eyes flicked between Azula and Aang, aware that _this_ was the moment of truth; that _now_ was the time for Zuko to declare his allegiance for Aang, or against him. She also knew, that in Zuko's current state, if she tried to influence him one way or another, she would likely push him toward Azula.

She _saw_ his moment of decision. The flames roared out of him, straight for Aang, only to be blocked by a blast of air. Azula took immediate advantage of Katara's shocked immobility to attack her, only her reflexes; honed under Master Pakku's relentless instruction, saved her from being roasted alive by some evil firebender who was so aberrant that she couldn't even use regular red fire like every other firebender did.

Katara quickly got her shock, and outrage under control. While she was _stunned_ at Zuko's betrayal, if she thought about it now, Azula would kill first her, than Aang. _Now _she had to focus on staying alive.

Azula was good, _very_ good. But the Fire Princess was in an environment that favored the waterbender. Even if Katara no longer had her waterskin, she didn't_ need _it, not with the underground river that was literally right next to her. She had more water at her disposal than she'd ever _need _to take Azula down.

No matter how much water she had, it still took some doing, setting Azula up so that puddles of various sizes covered the area where they fought. All the while, closing her eyes to the images of Zuko fighting Aang, as he unleashed moves that she'd never even _seen_ before against the Avatar. Which meant that even at the North Pole, Zuko had been _holding back_, taking her _lightly_, even as _she_ had fought her hardest. That hurt her pride. And she _poured_ that fury into the struggle against Azula.

Finally, she had Azula right where Katara wanted her. The Fire Princess tried to strike her, but Katara had absorbed the surrounding puddles into a protective bodysuit of water, dousing Azula's prospective strike and immobilizing her arm with the same motion. The princess smirked, and kicked out a ball of fire that had the same result as her previous strike, the only difference was that her leg was the limb captured.

Katara couldn't help but smirk. Azula was now helpless in her grip. Desperately the Fire Princess flailed, but despite all her efforts, she was unable to dislodge the water immobilizing her left arm and right leg. Triumphant, Katara raised her captive over her head…

And a whip of fire sliced down, severing the streamers of water holding Azula fast. _Zuko_. His face was set, his features eerily calm, all visible signs of his earlier insanity having been drained from him.

She didn't see Azula turn to attack Aang. All she could see was Zuko. _Zuko_, who she had actually thought was a _decent_ person! Who she'd actually offered to _help_! Who had turned around and…and…abandoned _everything_ she'd tried to do for him!

"_I thought you'd changed_!" she screamed at him, water whips tangling with whips of flame, leaving nothing but wisps of steam to show for their efforts.

Across the narrow channel set into the stone floor, Zuko's face was cold, but calm. Like, she thought uneasily, as if all the cares and concerns that had previously haunted him while they had been alone together had evaporated away, like the steam.

"I _have _changed." That was all he said, each word like an icicle in Katara's chest. It was obvious that he really, _truly_ believed that. But _how_ could he believethat? And _why_?

She didn't have long to wonder. Azula had seen her brief moment of hesitation while she'd tried to process Zuko's words, and attacked simultaneously with her brother; while Katara was only barely able to block the blows once, but she wasn't so lucky the second time around. A blast of blue fire overwhelmed her defenses and knocked her right into a nearby stand of glowing green crystals, knocking her unconscious.

When she revived, Aang was nowhere to be seen, and Zuko stood with Azula at the head of a horde of Dai Li.

//\\

Even after writing this, Katara's motivations for attempting to heal Zuko remain a mystery to me. Or at least, her motivations for starting to heal him, and then walking away without a word.

Zuko has always been my favorite character, so I was able to put some real thought into why he joined up with Azula during _Crossroads of Destiny_. For Katara, my primary mode of exploration was why she chose to blame Zuko for his choices when (to my mind at least) _she_ was the one who betrayed _him_. Or at least, I tried to do that, without getting hung up on the too-immediate explanation of "She's a bitch."

Thus…what you see before you. I am attempting to rationalize Katara's choices during the season two finale, and you, my readers, will be the ones to judge whither or not I succeeded. My conclusion? She simply didn't think. Normally Aang is the one with the obvious attention problems, but Katara also has a track record of simply not thinking when she _knows_ what's the right thing to do, even when it isn't. Anyone remember _The Waterbending Scroll_? Not only does she make the wrong decision, she refuses to acknowledge it, even after Zuko and the pirates nearly kill them all.

Katara can be dangerously single-minded about things. So can Aang. And Zuko. Only Toph and Sokka seem to try and plan for the future, but they are marginalized, their views pushed aside. And of all those who prove at various points in the show that they don't think at times when they need to, only Zuko seems to realize it and take steps to correct that problem. The underlying problem that leads to such behavior, not just the immediate consequences that that behavior leads to.

I like Katara. I'm a die-hard Zutara fan, which means that I have a lot of respect for her character. She's a great girl. But that doesn't mean that I can't see when she's wrong, and blaming Zuko for what amounts to her own actions (she walked away from Zuko, so that he was vulnerable to Azula's persuasion) is wrong in my book.

I invite commentary on the conclusions I have drawn, just, no flames please. These conclusions are my own opinions, and I ask that they be treated with as much respect as you would like me to treat yours. For that matter, reviews of any kind are welcome, again with the exception of flames.


End file.
